Call your ex girlfriend… when should you do it? How long should you wait before contacting her ex, and what kinds of things should you tell her?

These answers are not always easy, and each situation will be different. That said, there is also a pretty standard set of rules and guidelines that you can use when it comes to handling your breakup. If your goal is to get your girlfriend back, you need to walk a very specific path. She pushes too hard and you’ll push her away, causing your ex to run in the opposite direction. But move too slowly and you could lose her forever, possibly even to the point where her ex-girlfriend is seeing another guy.

Calling your ex girlfriend is not something you do right away, and it’s certainly not something you do without a definite plan of what you want to say. Coming overly desperate, needy, or excited can give her away…causing her to reinforce her decision to end things. But saying the right things and with the right attitude? That can really help pique her interest and put you back in your girlfriend’s head. Long after she ends the phone call, she will continue to think about what she said to herself and what you meant by it. This is what you are looking for. You’re putting her in a mindset that’s receptive to receiving more calls and contact from you.

But at first, immediately after the breakup, you will need to observe a very simple rule – no contact. You cannot call your ex girlfriend during this time and you cannot communicate in any other way. This means no text messages, no emails, no MySpace or Facebook stuff…nothing. By removing yourself from her life, she gets a solid dose of being totally, completely alone. By not letting her point out exactly where you are and what you’re doing, your ex worries that you might move on. Even if she’s the one who dumped you, your girlfriend’s biggest fear is that you get on with your life while she sits still. No girl wants that.

Being alone also gives him the chance to miss you a lot. You’d be surprised, but most men continue to harass their ex-girlfriends right after the breakup, destroying their chances of getting them back. Ex-girlfriend calling etiquette specifically prohibits communication, but some guys call and text their ex-girlfriends several times a day. When you do this, your ex never gets a chance to see what life is like without you. She never misses you, nor does she long to talk to you, because you are always there. Because of this, she has no incentive to reverse the breakup…she will continue until one or both find someone else. Which is not what you want.

So how long should you go before you call your ex? When is it okay to contact your ex girlfriend?

A good, solid rule of thumb would be about four or five weeks. I know that sounds like a long time, especially if you love your ex and want her back. But you have to realize that a month is not so much in the grand scheme of things, and you also have to look at the long term. If you want to reestablish a very real and very solid relationship with this girl that will last for many years? A month of silence is not so bad, and a long way to get your girlfriend back.