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How to Discover Your Core Values ​​I – What Mad Men Can Teach Us

I am fascinated with Don Draper, the star of the hit show Mad Men, who infuriates and offends me with his sexism and abuse of women, his lust for power, and his lack of moral fiber. He didn’t surprise me at all when we found out about his dark secret past where he assumed someone else’s identity and used that new identity as his entrance into the world of success. What does Don Draper really value? Clearly, he craves respect and the shame of his past causes him to overcompensate and go beyond normal limits because he places great importance on power. I can only imagine the stress Draper experiences on a daily basis leading this life. In fact, I suspect that Don is operating out of fear and that leads me to believe that he cannot sustain his success. But I have Don to thank because he reminds me of the importance of being true to my values ​​and living my life according to the principles that define who I am.

So let’s take a closer look at values ​​and see how they can be a powerful tool in discovering your true success.

First, what are values?

Values ​​are the principles by which you live your life. Core values ​​help define who you are and what is really important to you. In effect, values ​​are the essence of who you really are: that is, the core of your authenticity.

There are no “good” or “bad” values; nor are there any right or wrong values. I train many lawyers. What values ​​do you think they have? Force? Recognition? Leadership? Sure. And also fun, family and balance. My musician and artist clients value their creativity, along with things like wealth, service, and creating a legacy! The main thing is to find the values ​​that resonate with you.

As far as values ​​you “should” have, I had a musician client who wasn’t sure if he wanted to be a musician. Creativity was not one of his top 5 values ​​and he took it as a sign that he was not meant to be a musician because he did not have the “right things”. Its main value was authenticity. And when I asked him what that meant to him, it turned out that authenticity meant creativity!

Why is it important to know your values?

First, by knowing your values, you can begin to filter all of your important decisions and choices. For example, in your career, think about what matters most to you: your autonomy or your security. If you are someone who values ​​autonomy and you work in an environment with strict rules or have a micro-managing boss, you are undoubtedly feeling a lot of discomfort and may be longing for a freelance or entrepreneurial career. On the other hand, if security is important to you, you may agree to the rules because you value the security of having that paycheck.

In fact, if you compromise your core values, you may experience internal imbalance and stress. Think about your relationships: If you value honest communication and compromise, and yet you’re in a relationship where you feel like you have to play games to get what you want, this will lead to a lot of dissatisfaction from not meeting a superior. worth.

So knowing your values ​​is a critical component in finding authentic success because

o You realize what is essential to you in the conduct of your life.
o You gain clarity on a problem or challenge that is keeping you stuck or dissatisfied.

How do you find your values?

One way to find your values ​​is to focus on people, characters, or situations that deeply anger or offend you. When you think about these people or situations, you get angry that something that is very important to you is not being honored or respected. Your anger then becomes a powerful clue that helps you understand what is really important in your life, that is, your values. That’s why Don Draper is a good example for me because he’s not living up to my core values ​​of

o Authenticity and integrity
o Relationships based on honesty, trust and generosity
o Service to others
o Personal growth/fulfillment

How can you discover your core values?

Action steps:

1. Think of situations or characters or people that make you angry or offended.
2. What values ​​are not being honored in these situations or by these characters or people?
3. Write down the values ​​that these situations, characters and people bring up for you.
4. Start testing your values. The next time you have to make a difficult decision, think about what values ​​are at stake and what values ​​you want to honor. Then, think about what values ​​are not being honored by your choice.

Stay tuned for Part II of this exercise!
I’d love to hear what you come up with, so email me at [email protected].

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