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Time: a father’s most precious gift

Most parents want a strong and lasting bond with their children. Too often, parents don’t understand that strong bonds begin before birth. In fact, many parents do not consistently interact with their baby until the child is able to walk and talk. Parents must understand that the first two years of a child’s life are essential for a good bond. In these years, a baby is learning at a speed that makes most adults head spin.

Many studies show that mothers are no more “attached” to their baby at birth than the father. Yes, Mom has carried the baby for forty weeks, but once the baby enters this world, Mom and Dad start off on the same foot, at the same level. Too often, men take a back seat in interacting with their children during the first two years. This is one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make.

Another is to trust the fact that your love, as a parent, will carry the bonding aspect of life into your baby’s adolescence and adulthood. There is only one thing that will unite a father with his child, and it is not love. The moment has come.

I’m not saying you don’t need love, but if you don’t take the time to pass on love, your child will never know your love. Parents have been distant for too many generations. If you want your child to grow up and lean on you for advice and support, invest the time now before he or she is born. Go to your mom’s doctor appointments. Go to Lamaze classes. Learn about your baby and what your mom is going through. Connect with your baby through Mom. Be there when she is born. Cut her umbilical cord through your tears of wonder at the miracle of birth.

Be there to hold your baby in the first minutes, days, weeks, months, years, and decades of his life. Give it your time as it grows and learns about life on this crazy planet. Read to her, sing to her, dance with her, teach her sign language (while learning yourself). Sacrifice part of your time to bond with someone who will love you forever for your effort.

With everything mentioned in that last paragraph, none of this will happen without you giving your time freely. Stay away from the mantra in our society that selfishness is the standard of the day. Give your time. Give it to me from the heart. Don’t just tell your baby you love her, teach her. There is no substitute for your time. No cards, no purchases, no apologies will be taken the day you find a teenager you don’t know standing in front of you. What you invest early in your life will manifest in a close or distant relationship later in life.

I believe that most parents want a strong relationship with their children. However, many have no idea how to get there. The crazy thing is that the answer is not difficult. Spend time with your baby. It starts before she is born. Continue EVERY DAY for the rest of your life. Your responsibility for your child does not end at eighteen. In fact, I have found that once your baby is out on his own, you are just as critical in his life as you were in the delivery room. That type of relationship is built day by day, minute by minute from the beginning of its existence. Give your time and your love will be known on a level that you could never hope to achieve by any other means. Time: It is by far the most precious gift for your baby. Give it freely and give it often.

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