Almost any broken relationship can be mended, but nine times out of ten, a woman who is too focused on get it back you will end up tripping in the process.

Getting a man to fall in love with you again isn’t easy, but it is doable as long as you stick to this list of do’s and don’ts.

#1

Do: Take time to recover from the breakup.

Whose: Contact him afterwards to have the last word or find out what you need to do to make things right.

No contact is the cardinal rule when it comes to attracting an ex-lover.

Right after a breakup is the worst time for you and your ex to talk to each other.

Emotions run high and you will end up doing or saying something that will seriously set back your efforts to rekindle your relationship.

Instead, take a few steps back and let things be. Don’t call him, don’t text him or anything.

#2

Do: Take stock to see where things went wrong.

Whose: Blame yourself.

As you process the breakup, try to objectively figure out where things fell apart.

This isn’t always easy, and sometimes there are factors that we can’t see that affect our relationships.

Although difficult, this step is an important part of getting it back.

It will help you determine if your relationship is really worth saving and give you insight into how to prevent the same things from happening again once your relationship is rekindled.

#3

Do: Change for yourself.

Whose: Try to radically change yourself to what you think he wants.

Change is good. Take a look at your lifestyle now and see where things could improve. Would you like to go out more? Did you have other hobbies?

Now is the time to make the changes that will make you happy.

This is important for two reasons:

1) The new you will be a mystery to your ex, and they will want to know more about you, and

2) You will have something that prevents you from thinking about the breakup and your ex.

That being said, don’t focus your efforts on becoming the woman you think he wants, or it will backfire on you.

Men want someone who is calm, collected, and happy, and you won’t be trying to become something you’re not.

#4

Do: Keep your conversation light and relaxed.

Whose: Try to have the last word, try to pry into his new life, or try to find out how the breakup has affected him.

You and your ex probably won’t be strangers forever.

When you talk, keep things upbeat.

You may not communicate for months, so don’t make it seem like you’ve spent the entire time focused on the breakup and couldn’t get on with your life.

When you can focus on yourself, make yourself happy, and stop thinking about him, you won’t have a problem getting him back.